Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Super Saved by the Bell Scrapbook (ILL of the day)


It's a sad fact that even Captain ILL is not able to supply every item requested through interlibrary loan. Some books are so rare and valuable that the owning libraries are not willing to part with them for even the shortest loan period. Such was the case with the "Super Saved By The Bell Scrapbook". This ancient tome is owned by only a handful of libraries around the world and none could be prevailed upon to open their rare book vaults to bring this apparently valuable item into the light of day. We can thus only imagine what wonders the "full-color photos inside" reveal. Captain ILL supposes that the cheerful teens on the cover must attend school together, presumably some sort of clown college based on their mode of dress. Hopefully someday this priceless work will go back in print so its astounding clown secrets will once more be available to all.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

The Case For Make Believe (ILL of the day)


Back when he was training to be a superhero Captain ILL rented an apartment just a couple blocks over from the Neighborhood of Make Believe. He got a good price because most folks found it a bit distressing to live that close to an oppressive monarchy. That never bothered the Captain though since his classmates in superhero college tended toward megalomania as well. Apparently our good Captain used to go out drinking all the time with Lady Elaine Fairchilde whose capacity for libations was prodigious for an imaginary puppet. Captain ILL often relates the story of how he and Lady Elaine had a bit too many boilermakers and stole the hands off of Daniel Tiger's clock. After they sobered up, they felt bad but couldn't recall what they did with the hands so to this day poor Daniel has to live in a clock with no hands. Anyway, Captain ILL figures that the law must have finally caught up with Lady Elaine Fairchilde and that must be the "case" in the title of this book. Fortunately the Lady isn't a stoolpigeon, or the Captain could be in some trouble ...