Dear ILL Answerman,
Why is snow white?
Jack F.
Dear Jack,
Snow is not actually white. Believing snow to be white is a fairly common misconception, so there's no need to feel stupid for making that mistake. What happens is that cold temperatures cause the blood vessels in the human eyeball to contract causing minute distortions in what we perceive. Snow is actually pink, but in order to see pink snow you'll have to heat it to room temperature. However, dogs, due to their different evolutionary needs, have exceptionally temperature resistant blood vessels and so are able to perceive snow in it's natural pinkish hue.
The ILL Answerman
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
ILL answer desk question #10
Dear ILL Answerman,
Why do things stick to the Earth instead of drifting off into space?
Neil A. in Cape Canaveral, Florida
Neil,
In olden times, everything was kept from drifting away with Velcro. Then one day a fellow named Isaac Newton couldn't take his nap because of the ripping sound from all that Velcro. So he developed the Law of Universal Gravitation that keeps everything in place by kind of sucking it downwards ... sort of like a vacuum cleaner but without all the noise. He tested his new invention by sitting under an apple tree until an apple fell down and hit him on the head. Nobody really knows how gravity works these days, because when Newton died, he didn't leave any instructions.
The ILL Answerman
Why do things stick to the Earth instead of drifting off into space?
Neil A. in Cape Canaveral, Florida
Neil,
In olden times, everything was kept from drifting away with Velcro. Then one day a fellow named Isaac Newton couldn't take his nap because of the ripping sound from all that Velcro. So he developed the Law of Universal Gravitation that keeps everything in place by kind of sucking it downwards ... sort of like a vacuum cleaner but without all the noise. He tested his new invention by sitting under an apple tree until an apple fell down and hit him on the head. Nobody really knows how gravity works these days, because when Newton died, he didn't leave any instructions.
The ILL Answerman
Friday, January 23, 2009
ILL answer desk question #9
Dear ILL Answerman,
What is the meaning of life?
Friedrich N. in Weimar, Germany
Friedrich,
The meaning of life is life. A flower, a dog, a human being; there is meaning to be found in all of these. Unfortunately, meaning cannot be expressed in words, only pointed at. In fact, words can mislead as easily as they can enlighten. To make matters worse, you can't find meaning in the ideas behind words because they can only serve as pointers as well. The trouble with folks like you, Friedrich, is that you think too much, and not being able to escape your thoughts, you speak them out loud or write them down to create more and more thoughts in more and more people until we're all as nuts as you. So, to find meaning in life, a good first step is to stop asking questions like that ... besides, they give the Answerman headaches.
The ILL Answerman
What is the meaning of life?
Friedrich N. in Weimar, Germany
Friedrich,
The meaning of life is life. A flower, a dog, a human being; there is meaning to be found in all of these. Unfortunately, meaning cannot be expressed in words, only pointed at. In fact, words can mislead as easily as they can enlighten. To make matters worse, you can't find meaning in the ideas behind words because they can only serve as pointers as well. The trouble with folks like you, Friedrich, is that you think too much, and not being able to escape your thoughts, you speak them out loud or write them down to create more and more thoughts in more and more people until we're all as nuts as you. So, to find meaning in life, a good first step is to stop asking questions like that ... besides, they give the Answerman headaches.
The ILL Answerman
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
ILL answer desk question #8
Dear ILL Answerman,
Mary Ann or Ginger?
Joe C. in Marysville, WA
Joe,
Mary Ann hands down.
The ILL Answerman
Mary Ann or Ginger?
Joe C. in Marysville, WA
Joe,
Mary Ann hands down.
The ILL Answerman
Monday, January 12, 2009
ILL answer desk question #7
Dear ILL Answerman,
What smells bad to a dog?
Bowling W. in Marysville, WA
Bowling W.,
Nothing. Dogs collect odors like the Answerman collects TVs and computers. This is why they always look so sad when you give them a bath: you're robbing them of their hard won aromas. So give those poor doggies a break and let them keep their smells; if you don't they'll just go out and collect more anyway.
The ILL Answerman
What smells bad to a dog?
Bowling W. in Marysville, WA
Bowling W.,
Nothing. Dogs collect odors like the Answerman collects TVs and computers. This is why they always look so sad when you give them a bath: you're robbing them of their hard won aromas. So give those poor doggies a break and let them keep their smells; if you don't they'll just go out and collect more anyway.
The ILL Answerman
Thursday, January 8, 2009
ILL answer desk question #6
Dear ILL Answerman,
Does sand freeze?
Joseph in Mukilteo, WA
Joseph,
An excellent question! As you no doubt are aware, sand is composed of silicon dioxide, often in the form of quartz. Quartz, being nothing more than a glorified rock, is already a solid under common conditions, so does not freeze. However, if you should heat up a hunk of quartz to about 3000 degrees (please note that the dials on most kitchen ovens do not go up this high), it will melt and then "freeze" once it begins to cool off. Of course it would be difficult to characterize a 3000 degree hunk of quartz as "sand"; a more accurate term might be "magma".
The ILL Answerman
Does sand freeze?
Joseph in Mukilteo, WA
Joseph,
An excellent question! As you no doubt are aware, sand is composed of silicon dioxide, often in the form of quartz. Quartz, being nothing more than a glorified rock, is already a solid under common conditions, so does not freeze. However, if you should heat up a hunk of quartz to about 3000 degrees (please note that the dials on most kitchen ovens do not go up this high), it will melt and then "freeze" once it begins to cool off. Of course it would be difficult to characterize a 3000 degree hunk of quartz as "sand"; a more accurate term might be "magma".
The ILL Answerman
ILL answer desk question #5
Dear ILL Answerman,
Why is there ILL?
Søren K. in Copenhagen Denmark
Søren,
On one level there is ILL because no single library can contain all the books that a person might want to read. This begs the question of why a person might want to read a book that isn't contained in his or her local library. Perhaps they find all the books in their local library essentially meaningless and are driven to seek meaning from books in faraway places instead looking inwards and creating their own meaning. Hopefully this meaningless behavior will continue so the ILL Answerman can keep his job.
The ILL Answerman.
Why is there ILL?
Søren K. in Copenhagen Denmark
Søren,
On one level there is ILL because no single library can contain all the books that a person might want to read. This begs the question of why a person might want to read a book that isn't contained in his or her local library. Perhaps they find all the books in their local library essentially meaningless and are driven to seek meaning from books in faraway places instead looking inwards and creating their own meaning. Hopefully this meaningless behavior will continue so the ILL Answerman can keep his job.
The ILL Answerman.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
ILL answer desk question #4
Dear ILL Answerman,
How do you know if a question is burning? And, if it truly was burning, wouldn't it be a pile of ash and you couldn't tell it was a burning question?
Angelique L. in Sno-Isleland
Angelique,
Like Captain ILL, the ILL Answerman wouldn't know a metaphor if it fell from the sky like Captain ILL's plunging credit rating and hit him in the head. Therefore, he has to assume that a burning question would actually be on fire. It wouldn't yet be a pile of ash since ash doesn't burn, it smolders. Thus it would be prudent to inscribe burning questions on a flame-resistant object to ensure that the Answerman has a chance to read them.
The ILL Answerman
How do you know if a question is burning? And, if it truly was burning, wouldn't it be a pile of ash and you couldn't tell it was a burning question?
Angelique L. in Sno-Isleland
Angelique,
Like Captain ILL, the ILL Answerman wouldn't know a metaphor if it fell from the sky like Captain ILL's plunging credit rating and hit him in the head. Therefore, he has to assume that a burning question would actually be on fire. It wouldn't yet be a pile of ash since ash doesn't burn, it smolders. Thus it would be prudent to inscribe burning questions on a flame-resistant object to ensure that the Answerman has a chance to read them.
The ILL Answerman
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
ILL answer desk question #3
Dear ILL Answerman,
Why is there evil?
Dick C. in Washington D.C.
Dick,
Captain ILL would say that there is evil so his boots have a purpose other than keeping his feet warm and dry, but essentially evil is an illusion perpetrated by unconsciousness. How can we do wrong if we see ourselves in the wronged?
The ILL Answerman
Why is there evil?
Dick C. in Washington D.C.
Dick,
Captain ILL would say that there is evil so his boots have a purpose other than keeping his feet warm and dry, but essentially evil is an illusion perpetrated by unconsciousness. How can we do wrong if we see ourselves in the wronged?
The ILL Answerman
Monday, January 5, 2009
ILL answer desk question #2
Dear ILL Answerman,
Can you tell me Captain ILL's credit card number?
Bill Board in Coffeyville Kansas
Bill,
Certainly: 5861 8543 8108 8541. You didn't ask, but the expiry date is July 2009 and the security code is 935.
The ILL Answerman
Can you tell me Captain ILL's credit card number?
Bill Board in Coffeyville Kansas
Bill,
Certainly: 5861 8543 8108 8541. You didn't ask, but the expiry date is July 2009 and the security code is 935.
The ILL Answerman
Friday, January 2, 2009
ILL answer desk question #1
Dear ILL Answerman,
How do you pronounce "ILL"?
Julie S. in Washington D.C.
Julie,
I'm glad you asked since it's very important to pronounce a superhero's name correctly. In this case, when spoken aloud, ILL should be spelled out. It's pronounced eye-ell-ell and not "ill". Captain ILL, having a superhuman constitution, does not get "ill", unless you count melting into a puddle of water as "ill".
The ILL Answerman
How do you pronounce "ILL"?
Julie S. in Washington D.C.
Julie,
I'm glad you asked since it's very important to pronounce a superhero's name correctly. In this case, when spoken aloud, ILL should be spelled out. It's pronounced eye-ell-ell and not "ill". Captain ILL, having a superhuman constitution, does not get "ill", unless you count melting into a puddle of water as "ill".
The ILL Answerman
Still melted!
Unfortunately, Captain ILL remains in a liquid state. Here you can see his most important bits residing in the official Sno-Isle punchbowl for safekeeping. While the Captain is hydrated I will take the opportunity to answer some of the questions that have been piling up around here, ILL related and otherwise. So if anyone out there has any burning questions that you've been dying to have answered, be sure and post them!
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