Magical Melons is the ILL of today. Captain ILL was so offended by this title, that he couldn't bring himself to put the cover image up, or even look at it. This sort of degrading nomenclature infuriates the Captain, and he can't imagine why Ms. Brink, the author, would write such filth. Here are a few scandalous quotes from the back page: "The high-spirited Caddie is back with her lively siblings for some amusing escapades." and "You'll hear of ... a poor girl revealing a surprising talent" and finally "Magical Melons is sure to capture your attention". Unacceptable! To top it all off is an endorsement from a notorious literary magazine:
"The writing is fresh and the homely happenings ring true ..."
-The New Yorker
Don't read this book, and to be safe, don't read the New Yorker either!
2 comments:
Just for the record, "Magical Melons" (based on findings from my crack research team) is actually a children's book. It makes me wonder whether or not Captain ILL's formative years were spent with teachers and role models such as The Church Lady or Tipper Gore.
Yes, it's a children's book. With an extremely unflattering illustration of Caddie on the front cover. Honestly, what self-respecting publisher lets something like this slip through? Even if this book is not from this decade or even the last several decades, it seems to me that 'melons' has been a well known euphemism for a really, really long time. I can hear the boys in my fourth grade class snickering now.
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