Continuing the theme of yesterday's post, today's ILL of the day is 1001 Insults, Put-Downs, and Comebacks. Many superheroes, such as Spider-man, like to accompany their bashing of evil with witty repartee, but Captain ILL prefers a more professional approach. There's nothing funny about evil and to treat it lightly only encourages the scoundrels, so the Captain will usually just start bashing heads and booting behinds without even a by-your-leave. This also makes it easier to get to bed at a decent hour since he doesn't have to burn the midnight oil coming up with witty quips. All that's in the past now, of course, since this book contains enough insults, put-downs, and comebacks to get a superhero through his entire career. It's difficult to pick a sample, but here you go:
"Yo' mama is so old, she owes Jesus three bucks."
Needless to say, you should only use this against the most nefarious villains, and even then only if their mothers are particularly ancient.
4 comments:
Oooohhhh, I've always considered going after anyone's mom to be lower than low. If one has to resort to putting-down someone's mom I take it to mean that they're desperately looking for an insult and can't come up with a legitimate one for the person who's standing right in front of them. And thus it makes the potential insulter look worse than the insultee. Now I happen to know that El Capitan is a supremely smarter guy than that and can come up with much better insults for any villain in his world, and would never have to sink so low as to trying to insult one's mother. :-)
Captain ILL is not infallible, and he sees now that he should have written "only if their mothers are particularly EVIL AND ancient". Let's not forget that mothers, and even grandmothers, can be despicable villains. If you don't believe me, check out Granny Goodness' entry over at Wikipedia.
Too true! No doubt there are some pretty wicked moms/step moms as well! The wicked step mother queen from Snow White, Queen Narissa from Disney's Enchanted and Queen Hera (of Greek Mythology fame) are just a few that come to mind.
And wow, Granny Goodness does indeed sound wicked. Coincidentally, her cross-over ties to Greek Mythology (posing as Athena and holding the Gods of Olympus prisoner) can't help but make me wonder if she isn't one of Hera's relations.
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