Captain ILL is no stranger to losing his shirt. Back in the early days of his superhero career, before he could afford a uniform made of unstable molecules, he used to lose his whole costume all the time. You have no idea how hard it is on clothing when you run into a burning building to save a crying baby, or Dick Cheney blasts you with both barrels. It got to be so embarrassing that The Captain finally had to charge all his credit cards to the max in order to purchase a pair of unstable molecule underwear so at least some mystery would be preserved when the rest of his costume disintegrated. Of course it meant doing laundry every night, because Captain ILL could only afford one pair. So the next time a superhero comes running out of a burning building cradling your baby in his arms with his costume in flames, be sure and give him a big tip.
2 comments:
Captain, it's time to think outside of the boxers.
Have you considered "going commando"? According to WikiAnswers, 10% of the population does so. Look it up if you care to.
In fact, BowlingJoe's very own brother, SteelheadScot, is among those who have made a conscious choice in life not to wear underwear, with a high degree of success in his chosen escapades.
As a side benefit, there would be more room in the ILL budget for cool things such as an enhanced laser delivery system if you weren't cash strapped buying expensive high-tech undergarments.
Just think about it.
Captain ILL will take you at your word with respect to the underwear research Bowlingjoe. Going commando might work for plumbers and politicians, but when you're a superhero, it pays to have an extra layer of protection. However, if you would like to make a donation towards an enhanced laser delivery system, the Captain would be happy to accept.
Post a Comment