Interlibrary Loan of the day

The Runner's Handbook is "The essential fitness handbook for beginning and intermediate runners." Speaking of runners, Captain ILL's old drinking crony, the Flash, is quite a runner. Once when the Flash had had a few boilermakers, he challenged Captain ILL to a foot race. Now Captain ILL is no slouch in the speed department himself, and he judged he might have a chance since the Flash had a few under his belt. So there was the whole "ready, set, go!" thing and the race was on. Captain ILL figured he was correct in his assessment of the Flash's state of inebriation since the Captain kept ahead as he wound through the city streets, though he didn't dare look back in case he lost his lead. So imagine his consternation when he got to the finish line only to find the Flash waiting for him. That cheater claimed that he had taken the "long" route and had run all the way around the world. Well, even if Captain ILL had been naive enough to buy that tall tale, it still didn't change the fact that the Flash had left the race course and was thus disqualified. The argument went on and on until the Flash ran back in time and prevented Captain ILL's parents from ever meeting, and thus stopped him from ever being born. You can probably guess that mess took awhile to straighten out. The moral of the story? Don't race with speedsters, they're all cheaters!