Dear Ann, Dear Abby: The Unauthorized Biography of Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren has a pretty descriptive title, so there's no reason to describe the book in greater depth. What is interesting is that Captain ILL once wrote a letter to Ann Landers regarding a tricky situation he found himself in. The situation in question was very complex, but he managed to trim it down to just the salient points in the following letter:"Dear Ann,
My name is Captain ILL (No doubt you've heard of me, I'm a very famous and successful superhero) and I'm writing to you at the suggestion of a certain amphibious colleague of mine who wishes to remain anonymous. See, I was at this superhero exhibition at Sea World; all the big names were there, but I won't mention any names. Everything went fine until my turn onstage came and, well, to make a long story short, I don't have very good control over my laser beams and I ended up boiling alive half the exibits and giving a certain amphibious colleague of mine third degree burns all over his body. My question is this: to what extent am I legally, financially, and etiquetly responsible for replacing the boiled fishies?
Your greatest fan,
Captain ILL"
Unfortunately, she never responded.
4 comments:
Cool. A "spin off" blog.
Yes, it turns out that Captain ILL had forgotten all about the incident Bowlingjoe mentioned on his blog, but was able to refresh his memory by digging through his old advice column correspondence.
And here's a true story that ties it all together: years ago, I worked in Idaho, and one of my coworkers was going on about how excited she was because she had tickets to see Neil Diamond. Every day, yammering on about Neil Diamond. Finally I told her "You know how this is a low-budget tour for Neil, right? He's basically touring colleges and using students as roadies. Well, last night the student help didn't get things set up quite right, and when Neil did "America" with the smoke and lasers, apparently the lasers went haywire and temporarily BLINDED Neil. At least they hope it's temporary..."
Of course, she did not take this well, and the next morning, she cornered me: "I watched 2 or 3 news shows last night, and not one mentioned Neil Diamond being shot in the eyes with laser beams!!"
I had to apologize...
I just looked up Neil Diamond at Wikipedia, and it didn't say anything about him being blind, so it must have just been temporary. Remember kids, playing with lasers should be left to those properly trained, like physicists and superheroes ... not pop stars.
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