Healing Secrets of the Native Americans purports to enable the reader to "discover all-natural treatments for more than 40 ailments from acne to wrinkles". Captain ILL used to be skeptical of this sort of thing until he broke his elbow a few years back when a truck fell on it. Now hospitals are notoriously incapable of treating superheroes, so when the Captain's old buddy Apache Chief, of the Super Friends suggested a Native American healer, Captain ILL was in no position to refuse. This fellow, who went by the name Don Juan, did a bang up job, though the Captain isn't sure exactly what sort of treatment he used because the first thing he did when he arrived was to feed Captain ILL several peyote buttons. Everything was kind of a blur after that ... a fantastic, multi-hued, blur of shapes, sounds, and smells. Afterward the elbow was much better and, other than an occasional tendency to smell colors, Captain ILL suffered no adverse side effects and, even better, didn't have to fill out any insurance forms.
6 comments:
Jim Morrison went through a similar experience (or at least Val Kilmer did anyway). Unfortunately for him, he didn't have the focus that Captain ILL does, and look where he is now: buried in a garden-variety cemetery in Paris covered by dirt and broken wine bottles. Which, come to think of it, isn't really a bad gig when you consider the possibility of a McCain/Palin victory.
Anyway, if the Captain is interested in more pursuit of this natural kind of medication, it's nearly mushroom season in Joyce, WA close to BowlingJoe's hometown of Port Angeles.
Sure, blame it on the truck. Some of us know the truth...
Bowlingjoe, Captain ILL only endorses the use of peyote for medicinal or religious purposes.
Don't bother asking Groovelily about the "truth" she speaks of; she's been sworn to secrecy.
But the question is....was Bowlingwidow?
Bowlingwidow, while being Supreme Mistress of All Things Weeding, has not been initiated into the deepest mysteries of ILL, including the secret identity of Captain ILL. This is for her own protection, as the enemies of the Captain are legion, and their malevolence without equal.
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