Captain ILL can be a bit old fashioned at times. This can lead to unfortunate incidents where he steps aside to let a lady go first, while the lady steps aside and insists that he go first. Now the Captain is pretty stubborn, but ladies can be stubborn too, and the two of them might still be standing in that hallway if Captain ILL hadn't realized that it would be better if he just turned around and went back to his desk; he'd forgotten what he was going down the hallway for anyway. To avoid these sorts of disasters, the Captain recommends all Americans adhere to the rules in this book laid down two centuries ago by the father of our country. In any case, rules like: "Rince not your Mouth in the Presence of Others" and "In Company of your Betters be not longer at eating than they are lay not your Arm but only your hand upon the table". If we can all agree upon this, perhaps Captain ILL can spend less time standing in the halls and more time booting evil.
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